SPOILER ALERT: This movie is freaking awesome.

I saw the latest addition to the Ethan Hunt story last night and spent a lot of my time sharing slack-jawed looks of joy with my friend. My usual opinion of action flicks isn’t a positive one, but Brad Bird nailed it here. No surprise really, given that ‘The Incredibles‘ is one of my favourite movies of all time.

Here’s a quick summary of the film: Action. Action. Plot. Action. Comedy. Action. Plot. Action. Action. Sexy girl fight. Action. Plot. Action. Action. Plot. End credits.

The story revolves around the IMF being totally disavowed and Hunt having to go it alone with three team mates and the contents of a magical van. I think there was something about nuclear missiles but I may be confusing that with ‘Top Gun’ which I might be confusing with ‘Interview with the Vampire’ which I didn’t really pay attention to because pretty men intimidate me.

Tom Cruise does a great job but it’s hard for me to separate the arse-kicking intense-running suit-looking-good-in action hero from the couch-jumping brain-washing insanity-promoting Scientologist hosepipe that he is. I want to cheer for him as he leaps out a hospital window onto a moving van but a part of me also wants to see him break his neck.

Simon Pegg gets a lot of stuff to do in this movie and even has one brief moment of action which he no doubt negotiated for valiantly. Pretty much all of his scenes went like this:

Tom Cruise: Quick, Simon Pegg! You have to hack into the Kremlin but you only have 30 seconds and an omelette maker to do so!

Simon Pegg: That sure sounds hard, Tom Cruise, but I’ll do my best! Please don’t have your church abduct me! Hahahahaha!

Tom Cruise: Hahahahaha!

Simon Pegg: <typetypetype> Ok, I am in control of the Kremlin. What should I do now?

Tom Cruise: Launch it into low-Earth orbit and fly us home, Iceman.

Simon Pegg: Say whaaaaaat!?

<End scene>

Jeremy Renner broods and kicks people.

Paula Patton sulks and kicks people. Her husband died or something, I don’t really know. Her boobs also do an excellent job. I’m sure there will be a lot of solid work in their future.

Go see this film. It’s full of high-kicks, sexy cars, cool toys and enough sequences of Tom Cruise in a suit to convince your wife/girlfriend/single cousin to come and see it with you.

About Adam vanLangenberg

Comic book defiler, board game desecrater, unwanted felon. @vanAdamme
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